They say that —
I don’t know
I don’t know that this
Youth is only a blip in time
An infinitesimal wink of an eye
That one day I’ll wake up
And reach for the air
Of my Innocence
Only to find it — disappeared
Come to the cold realization
That it was long gone
Had left — piece by piece
Moment by moment
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As the sun begins to peak from behind its dark veil,
Sparrows sing a mourning song.
Air nips at my numb nose,
my breath dancing away.
Oak beams tumble down
Crashing, lifting dust into the air.
Rot sequesters in my mind
Each smudge of dirt, a stain.
Never to be removed
as paint keeps chipping.
Echos of moments long since past
bounce around in empty halls
like cut edges of a rope.
Threads unraveling,
Never meant to reunite.
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Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault
You were 16 years old, young and naive,
Your heart belonged to a soul who didn’t cherish you, so you gallivanted for pleasure in the arms of another.
You were juvenile and injudicious, only focusing on the fulfillment he gave to your womanhood.
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One last breath, one last touch,
I give in to the moment. God says I must.
This is the end, I feel no pain,
I’m numb to the cancer in my veins.
18 years I’ve been fighting this war,
I surrender peacefully. I cannot take any more.
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I look towards my future, and I see
Moments in times I dream
I see a big vast ocean,
a beautiful sea I see myself healing
And healing others like me
I see warmth and brightness
Reflecting like pools of honey
I see love and light
I see it fill the loneliness in me
I see no boundaries
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